Weight Loss Blog

I know it is a lot to ask of those who already follow this blog, but I have another blog I'm working on. It is going over my journey to losing 100 pounds to be in a health weight range. So if you can please follow it:  http://littleblackdresssexy.blogspot.com/

Thankful Thursday - My Mom

Today I am really Thankful for my Mom. She does so much for our family. She babysits Jackson and my BFF's son Gavin. She takes care of my Grandma's finances (even though she can be a pain in the butt), he doesn't get a lot of recognition for the things she does. I hope she knows how much I appreciate her always being there for me and the rest of the family.

I didn't know how much moms do for their family until I had my own. She really does so much. She has 6 grandkids now and loves each one of them unconditionally. She makes sure each one is taken care of and that each one of them spends time with her and my Dad. I love her so much.

Thanks Mom for being the best mom anyone could ask for. Thanks for doing more than you should and more than your share. Thanks for taking good care of Jackson, even though he is a busy little boy. Thanks for walking with me and always helping me out, especially when I have needed it most. Thanks for always taking me to the doctor when I was little and making sure I was in good health. Thank you for believing in me when I don't believe in myself. Thank you for trusting me to make the right decisions and for supporting me even though the choice I made wasn't the best one. Thank you everything! I love you Da Mama! To the moon and back.

Kamberlie

If anyone knew me growing up and even well into my 20s that I loved to babysit. People in the ward would call me "The Nanny" because I always had someone's child or children with me. One family was the Binks, I loved their children. While working at Sutherlands I would babysit for Kim while went to the gym. I babysat their 3 children Staley, Kamberlie and Stockton. I love them!! They were little balls of energy that I would brighten my day. One day on October 8, 2007 everything changed. I remember I had just bought a new bed frame for my room from Kmart and I was putting it together and my mom came in and said, "Nicole, Kamberlie Binks is missing while they were at Lake Powell, they aren't sure what happened at this point." That was a Monday, for days I read online and watched news reports that they were looking for her in the water and possibly someone took her. I prayed for her safety and wanted her to be okay. That Thursday, October 11, 2007 I heard they located her in Lake Powell, drowned. My heart stopped. She was this blonde spunky 3 year old and I couldn't believe she was gone. I had just watched the kids not too long before. Going to her funeral was so surreal, I couldn't believe this little Angel was no longer with us. Seeing her in her little white casket and her heartbroken family made me so grateful for the opportunity to get to know her.

I was watching this video today and I cried and cried. I keep thinking about Jackson, he turns 3 this year the same age as Kamberlie when she passed. I can't imagine the hurt the Binks have gone through and hope I never will. My son is everything to me. A few weeks ago he almost got hit by a car and I was so upset with him and myself. I would have been devastated if something would have happened to Jackson. I wish that she could have had more time on earth with her adorable brothers and meet her little brother and sister. I just hold onto my little man so tight and know that life is short. I hope the Binks know how much I think about them and how much I look up to them.

 

Thankful Thursday

Lately I have been feeling very ungrateful for what I have. I have gotten caught up in the world and in life that I forgot to look around me and remember that I have a beautiful family who I love and who loves me more than anything. So I am going to try and post every Thursday something that I am thankful for. Today I am thankful for my husband, Tom, who loves me unconditionally even when I don't love myself. Everyone's toughest critic is themselves. I love in the mirror and I pick out all the flaws. But when my husband looks at me he tells me I am beautiful and he loves me just the way I am. I am grateful for a man in my life who takes good care of me and always wants to put his family first. He is the best Dad and I love seeing those two play together. They make all the worries go away, put a smile on my face and make my heart happy. 

Family Photo October 2013

 

I am also thankful for this little guy. Before I was a mom, I saw my friends having babies and becoming mothers, they'd say "I never thought I could love someone so much". I thought to myself well of course you are going to love your kiddos. But when you set eyes on your baby for the first time, it is the most wonderful feeling of love. Something that you can't even begin to describe to others. He has my heart and I am wrapped around his little fingers. He is learning so much and is so smart. He talks a lot, just like his mama! He likes to tell me in the morning "No work" like come on Mom just stay home with me. I wish I could stay home everyday but alas I can't I would go crazy. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be his mom, I have been given a precious miracle and I'll never take that for granted.

Jackson December 2013

Neal A Maxwell

On May 19, 1989 I had an operation called a rhizotomy on my back. My Grandpa asked Neal A. Maxwell to give me a blessing for the operation. This is my Aunt Rosemary's account of that visit.

"Yesterday was another wonderful experience for me. Elder Maxwell is truly an Apostle of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I feel that so strongly every time I am in his presence. He made us feel so welcome and loved. He asked Leslie many questions concerning the surgery and the extent thereof. He wanted to know if Nicole was familiar with the doctor and if she had met him herself and was comfortable with him.
"Elder Maxwell took Nicole by the hand and led her around his office, pointing out a statue of the Prophet Joseph Smith. He showed her a picture of Jesus on his wall. In a wooden cabinet, he has a bust of Jesus, and he pointed that out to her. Then he took her over to a corner where he has a very large butterfly mounted in a glass case on the wall. Nicole was interested in all of this and she chatted with him and asked questions about what she was seeing.
"Then, Elder Maxwell sat Nicole on Leslie's lap and he proceeded to give her a very beautiful blessing. He talked to our Heavenly Father in her behalf as if our Heavenly Father was there in the room. He blessed her with the health and strength to come through the surgery well and to be strong; that her recuperation would be fast; and that she would respond to the treatments the medical staff would use. Through Nicole, he blessed the doctors and nurses who will perform the surgery and he guided them to do their best on her. He blessed her that she would respond well to therapy and to the medication to make her strong and her recovery rapid.
"Elder Maxwell told Nicole that she is a special daughter of her Heavenly Father and that she is much loved by her family and extended family. He promised her that many prayers would be offered in her behalf. He also stated that she always brings sunshine to all she meets. Elder Maxwell sealed theses blessings with his Apostolic powers which are vested in him and bestowed upon her every blessing Heavenly Father has for her (a special blessing in and of itself).
"After the blessing, Elder Maxwell said that he would put Nicole's name on the Twelve's prayer roll for three weeks. Only a few names go on that roll at any one time and only two are on longer than that - President Benson's and Elder Haight's. He gave her a dollar to buy some candy. She told him thank you. It was very touching as she went around his desk and gave him a hug."


I share this story because I can. I am here and alive. I am so happy to have had this wonderful experience in my life. I looked up to Neal A. Maxwell throughout my youth and even to this day. I had the amazing opportunity to speak with Elder Maxwell when I was in the 9th grade and Thank him for what he did for me and my family. 

I am so grateful to have my own little family and wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

Cancer Sucks

I was thinking about our struggle 13 

years ago. My Dad was diagnosed with

 leukemia in October of 1999,

he was given a 10% chance to live. I couldn't

 imagine my life without my Daddy. I

 know we are so blessed to have him

 with us today. Because of my Uncle

 Kerry donating bone marrow to his twin

 brother, my dad was able to see me

 get married, walk me down the aisle,

,

 dance with me and be at the hospital

 when Jackson was born. I love you

 Daddy more than you will ever know.

Kodiak Bear

We had a funeral for Kodie and buried him up at our family cabin. This is what I said as my father and brother placed dirt over his small homemade casket.

He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.) When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another woman. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. His head on my knee can heal my hurt. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever - in case I need him. And I expect I will - as I always have.

He wasn't just my dog, we was my best friend, my first baby and my companion for the last 6 years. I will always miss you Kodie and you will always be remembered.

I love you, my baby, Kodie!